Things I did to make friends in my late 20s and in a new city!
Moving to a new city sounds exciting… until it actually happens.
New streets.
New routines.
No familiar faces.
And suddenly you realise:
Making friends as an adult is harder than unpacking boxes.
If you’ve moved to a city like Cambridge, here’s what actually works — without forcing it or feeling like you’re back on your first day of school.
First: reframe what you’re doing
You’re not “bad at making friends”.
You’re just new.
Psychology tells us friendship is built through:
Repeated exposure
Shared environments
Low-pressure interaction
So if you’re staying home waiting for friendships to magically appear, they won’t.
You have to place yourself where a connection can happen.
1. Join community-led events (this is the big one)
Community events exist for one reason: connection.
Unlike clubs or bars, people attend these expecting to talk to others, which removes a lot of the awkwardness.
Things like:
Women’s circles
Social meet-ups
Creative workshops
Walking or wellness groups
You’re not interrupting anyone’s life — you’re showing up to a shared space with shared intention.
That’s how friendships start to feel natural instead of forced.
2. Become a “regular” somewhere
This is a psychology hack most people underestimate.
When people see you repeatedly, your brain (and theirs) starts to feel familiarity and safety.
Try:
The same café
The same gym class
The same walk or park
The same weekly event
You don’t need to talk much at first.
Familiar faces turn into small chats.
Small chats turn into connections.
3. Say yes more (even when it’s uncomfortable)
When you’re new, comfort is your enemy.
That invite you’re unsure about?
Say yes.
That event where you don’t know anyone?
Go anyway.
You can always leave early — but you can’t make friends from your sofa.
4. Use your interests, not your job, as your identity
One mistake people make when moving cities is leading with:
“I work in…”
Friendship forms faster around shared interests, not job titles.
Ask questions like:
“What do you do for fun around here?”
“What made you move here?”
“Have you found any good spots yet?”
This invites connection, not comparison.
5. Follow up (this is where most people stop)
You meet someone nice.
You have a good chat.
Then… silence.
Be the one who follows up:
“It was so nice meeting you — do you fancy a coffee sometime?”
This isn’t desperate.
It’s confident.
Most people are relieved someone else made the move.
6. Give it time — friendship is cumulative
One event doesn’t equal friendship.
Consistency does.
Psychology shows that repeated low-stakes interactions build trust faster than one intense connection.
That’s why communities and regular events matter — they remove the pressure to “get it right” immediately.
If you feel lonely, it doesn’t mean you chose the wrong city
It means you haven’t built your people yet.
Friendship is one of the last things to settle after a move — and that’s normal.
You don’t need to reinvent yourself.
You just need spaces where you can be seen.
Moving to a new city can feel isolating — but it can also be the start of the most aligned friendships you’ve ever had.
The key is showing up — imperfectly, repeatedly, and honestly.
You belong here more than you think.
💬 Cambridge Girls Circle: Your Shortcut to Connection
If you’ve moved to Cambridge and you’re craving real connection, not surface-level networking, Cambridge Girls Circle exists for exactly this reason.
CGC is a women-only community built around:
Meaningful conversation
Consistent events
Safe, welcoming spaces
Showing up as you are — no performance required
You don’t need to bring a friend.
You don’t need to be confident.
You just need to come.
Many of the friendships formed at CGC start with:
“I just moved here and didn’t know anyone.”
And that’s more than enough.
👉 Join a Cambridge Girls Circle event and start building your community, one conversation at a time.
